Showing posts with label feelings. Show all posts
Showing posts with label feelings. Show all posts

Friday, November 25, 2011

A Perennial Fiction in My Heart

The light fell on your face, coming from the distant street lamp.
And lots of shadows.
An unknown rhythm I felt, in you, in me, in the surrounding.
You must go, you must go soon… But stay just a little while?
I’m just emerging from the grey of my heart. I’m just breathing in your smell. I’m just living in your arms, in an intransient warmth, that would linger even when I cannot feel your breath through my hair anymore. ‘Cause you’re gone.
And now you will become a metaphor. In my delusional dreams I’ll refrigerate you until I run out of my sense of energy. An energy you are leaving within me, a part of you merged into my dusty young soul.
You’re somewhat like the cigarette burning between my fingers. The smoke fades away behind the curtain of air, but the smell remains, and the stains.
You looked into my eyes, my blurry eyes, and I perceived you as the most enthralling hallucination ever. I was wrong. You were real.
The dew on the grass blades, was shinning as if it had rained diamonds on this earth, and it was wet; as the evening was falling into winter’s arms – I made you sit down in the shadow, I fell into you.
To you I’m a psychedelia; to me you’re an enigma. But I know you. I have felt you in my bloodstream. I have lived you, as you defined me, as you discovered me, as you loved me.
Did you?
That touch was eerie. That embrace was out of the world. You rushed into my head, you tasted my breath, you collapsed into me; and I to You.
A void heart you have chosen, who would point at your mistake?
I would stare at your lips, dry-dead skin, and breathe you in.
The existence of this world started to get fainter as you told me life was worth living, love was worth waiting for. I believed. No more tears to shed, no more fears to runaway from… only a hollowness, a hole, you are leaving somewhere in me.
…In the day we were puffing and just living. I was stepping on stones floating in the sky…feeling warmth on my shoulder. Was it you? Was it? I guess.
The phantom kissed on my forehead, and its blackmagic soul fell in love with me… Me … I’m a nowhere rebellion tethered with extreme rights and wrongs of life. Seeking salvation. Being a non-believer. I still am. Only that I’ve found serenity, in my place that you showed me. And you showed me a piece of heaven residing in a secret garden placed somewhere within the rusty brick world.
White ghost trees painted grace on my iris. Mesmerized, I felt my existence being divided, a soul and a body. The soul reached out to the isle of abandoned dreams, of forgotten childhood, of yellow memories, of foggy love. The body stood still. And you reached out to me, brought my soul back into the body. Offered me life, a greater one, and showed me a path of faith to enlightenment of the Truth. You answered my questions and left yours for me.

We walked. We sat. We felt.
And I discovered you in an esoteric place, I delineated you, yes you; and I learned to admire parts of you, visible and invisible ones… your curls, your eyes, your jaw line, your voice, your energy, your existence.
I’m fallen.
And I’ve decided to stay here, sleeping wide awake, until you come and make it rain on me from your obscure clouds again.
I wanted to write more. But then we didn’t drink Rum in winter days.



--just unrequited delusion of fictitious reality--

Nevermind.

Thursday, November 4, 2010

Unsequenced Beads

Well, I know, there is no such word like "unsequenced", still, err....it sounded good :/





As winter suddenly sneaks in:


Me: The cold November rain kills the autumn and steps on the frozen grass.
A hollow song is playing on, somewhere.
Feels like I'm behind the stage, dying, yet the sounds of claps go on...the show evolves. The world is somehow inside out....but I am too blind to see the truth!
Wanna go under the blanket and sleep forever in peace, with mystic magical dreams!


Kabir: And when your dreams reach a crescendo of your sensuality..... In that moment of eternal mysticism...when the magic peaks....freeze yourself into time forever. That way.....you shall have the frozen peak of sensuality.....preserved and to be relished forever.


Aritra: we wash away our make up
but to the world we remain a mere clown
we are just meant for entertainment
neither to feel... nor to frown....

-And it didn’t end, something came in the way…err.

Sea Diaries:
I went to the coast of Bengal, holidays you know… the trip was nice.
I sat at the sea shore, a lil’ away from the regular crowd, in the evening. The sea played an amazing music of solitude, a melody of some faraway land of dream.
I was so much submerged in the ambience; and in the momentary lapse of rumbling thoughts I could only find a discomfited peace that I never felt before. I let go the avarice of ache and detest I held inside.
The far horizon, where lil’ lights of fishing trawlers were tinkering, I kept gazing at it and seemed like I was sailing away, to eternity…
The sea stays alone, with lives smiling at its shore, it roars, shivers, cries in a hollow pain, and only some nomad toddling around the shore would hear it sometimes in its music of waves, the untold story of its hidden heart, longings and loses.
The sea scum whispered in my ears, words of lost love and ….i don’t know what…
But it felt good….really good.
I forgot the need of a smoke.


Snaps from the Sea Diaries:
[Click on the images to view larger size]